A Relationship vs Freedom

     I don't want someone because it's a good idea, and I don't want them because it's a bad one.  And it isn't a case of the grass being greener on the other side of the fence.  Those are just words.  The truth is, I don't know how to say what I want or even what the hell it is.
     I started thinking about the word "freedom".  I always think about it, I say I have it, but the fact is, I can't ever get there.  No matter how free I am, there's always one more restriction I could get rid of that would make me a little bit more free.  The only way I can get there, really, is to be God.  But, I'm not God, obviously.  I'm only halfway there.
     The world is set up so that we humans imagine something like freedom, and want it, but just by the nature of being who we are, we'll never have it.  And, freedom's not the only thing that's like that.  But at least we know the name of it.  There's something we want that we not only can't have, we can't even know what it is.

     If you talk about the grass being greener on the other side, you're saying that it's just an illusion, it's the same grass that's over here.  Deep down, we're convinced there is another side, and the grass is really greener there; in fact it's a whole different thing, it's not even grass anymore, and that's where we really belong.  And the things we want on this side, it's not that we don't want them, but what we really want is what they represent.  That other thing, whatever it is that we can't have.